Where have all the Parents Gone?

Yes.

I know they are out there, but where. They are hard to find right now in the chaos of life.

As time ticks on, good parents seem harder to spot. Maybe they are hiding or maybe we have lost the skill to parent.

Can that be possible?

As a society, we have gained college skills, job skills, and some life skills, but in the mix we lost the ability to parent.

Harsh!

Yeah, a little, but I want my words to hurt so you/ parents wake up.

And it’s okay to feel emotions.

And as I see it, if we don’t start talking and listening then we will lose another generation. Another generation will suffer and patterns will continue. And that’s totally uncool.

I know..I know.. parents already have enough to juggle. I am one, too.

So reading this won’t make someone’s day, but some days you have to read the truth and take in the truth to make a change.

I totally get it. Full-time jobs, money, house, meals, kids, activities, we do a lot.

I mean a lot.

But as some say, we are doing too much and that isn’t always healthy and technically humans are not good multi-taskers even though we strive for that skill so let’s stop that and slow down.

SLLLLLLOWWWWW DOOOOOOWWWWWNNNNNNN……

I will say it again….. slow down.

Because slowing down is important. It’s a life skill we don’t like to practice because society dictates fast…but really slow is awesome, too.

Seriously, we don’t have to run crazy every moment of the day.

God, that’s exhausting and not worth it. Like who are we trying to impress?

Uhh…no one really cares.

So….Take a few things of the list and spend time parenting.

I hear you whining, I don’t want to do that.

Well, people…it’s time.

Yes, NOW. More than ever.

Because if we don’t recommmit to our kids, I see a sad future. A future generation looking for belonging, love, and a place to call home. And Brene Brown will tell youthe importance of all that in all of her books.

You are like come on. I do everything for my kids.

I say, what do you do?

Breathe with me….

 

Now close your eyes and think about your day with your kid or even your week.

Go over every moment.

Now think about your parents.

Now think about you.

Now think about your kids.

Think about your parenting.

Think about how you feel parenting.

Now go back to you.

Your childhood.

Your parents.

You as a parent.

Your kids.

What do you do?

Do you eat dinner with them? Do you read to them? Do you listen? Do you parent?

If you checked off yes to my questions, Awesome sauce, but if you seem to question your day with your kid, then consider scheduling in time.

Also, do you see the cycle?

Yes, parenting is a way of life and typically runs in familes.

Parenting is totally a passed on behavior. A behavior we control. A behavior that we learn. And by the way, a behavior that cycles over and over again.

Even if we don’t want to admit it, parenting is a skill we learn from others.

Really, I hate that.

Typically from our parents.

Yes, good and bad strategies move through generations. And every generation takes a piece of that generation’s parenting and it flows on and on and on.

I believe this is where we are missing the bigger picture when we are looking at kids.

From my experience with schools, teachers, therapists, most address kids, not parents.

Because it’s easier and non-offensive.

But from my perspective, it’s parents who need the talk.

Yes, parents need the lecture. The one on one talk. Especially if their kid is struggling because kids are products of parents. And more than ever, parents have to own their parenting.

Mind blowing!

No, really?

This seems practical to me.

First, address parents. Second, the kids.

But that’s not at all how we do it.

Nope.

Most look at the kid.

Diagnosis the kid with whatever and never address the parent, the kid’s envirnoment, the parent’s relationship with the kid, etc.

Then, the kid gets the label and parent walks away free from the issue.

And no one talks about it again.

Why?

Because adults don’t wanna to tell other adults what to do and no one wants to take responsibility.

Bitey!

Uhhh…yea…but it’s the gosh darn truth.

So, what we should do?

Be parents.

Take responsibility.

Pick up a current parenting book.

Start practicing new strategies.

Invest in your kid.

Love them.

Happy Parenting,

Allison

 

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